According to the Urban Dictionary, Apple fans are called Apple Evangelists and it is to those radicals that I offer this latest post. There may have been some whispers and rumourings (new word) that I have switched my mobile OS allegiance (if you’re unfamiliar with what OS means, I’d stop reading at this point).
I have been referred to by one friend as a ‘die in the mud android’. Whilst the thought of me lying in the soggy field, surrounded by barbed wire & fragments of microSD cards and battery acid, on the front lines of some futuristic telephonic war, with horizontal rain and the rising tide of shame and ridicule all around me is not too farfetched, actually, it was more just a matter of time. The news I present this day is that I do now possess “the biggest thing to happen to iPhone since iPhone”. Yes, the iPhone 5 landed on my desk at work on 21st Sept, whilst I might add, there were queues of evangelists waiting for the iDoors to open across the Northern Hemisphere.
I do feel that an apology is due to both the iOS camps and the Android hoards that have, for years now, engaged in a platform war. To my new comrades on the tidy, well designed, sleek & stable settlement, I must offer my apologies for when I have been a wolf in sheep’s clothing and indeed there lies the right hook of androidites. The comparison to our woolly friends has been over used to a degree it has actually lost its sting. After using an Apple device for a short while, I was overcome with the minimalist way that the iOS works. I love the design, the simplicity and ease of how my new iPhone seamlessly works.
To my old comrades of the mobile revolution. I must offer my regret in leaving you in such a manner and at a time when the android house is becoming more than unorganised, maybe even untidy. Like a chaotic steak house kitchen where chefs have started serving up vegetarian options or even worse…Quorn! A diminishing sense of identity. I do hope that you enjoy the offerings of Android in the coming years and that you aren’t overwhelmed by the widgets, roms, customisations, themes, shortcuts, badges, overlays and tickers that you can apply to your device at any point. And then change, and change again. Uninstall and reinstall, amend and tweak and hack and crack and … break. It does seem highly hypercritical for me to jump ships at this juncture and I know it would seem unforgivable as I have fervently endorsed the benefits of the google OS and the many devices that it is available on. I do hope that you don’t forget the slam dunk arguments that we’ve had with the evangelists over the last two years, I think I have given you ample ammo for the foreseeable future. From this point forward, I plan to get on with life and make the most of every day, maybe visiting a coffee shop with my good lady wife, seamlessly checking in with FourSqaure, possibly sharing a photo via Twitter, rather than being presented with the 72 different ways of uploading, editing, tweaking that photo and missing the precious time that I have.
Of course all this is in jest, it has been a blast. I wish you all the very best.